Nonsense
by Mitrinios
Summary: All manner of crazy things happen to our hapless hero, and not much else...


Saturday Nov 9, 2008 November 24, 2008

Moonrise over the sea of blood

The moon arose from its temporary yet eternal prison. It was still shrouded by the darkest of clouds, but little by little, it weaseled through. The pale light shone through the dark cloud and scattered on the sea, producing a horribly delightful effect. Hues of scarlet percolated through those sacks of moisture. The macabre sea ricocheted the pure light to the clouds, intensifying the beauty. A confounded figure sat in his beach chair not ten feet from the sea.

- "_I wonder how I came to be where I am, slurping this deep blue elixer. Strangely, it tastes just like like orange juice and, something else. Something sharp and unpleasant. I' m going to expunge from my mouth this deathly drink. Wait. I like this. It is so terrible and yet I continue to drink. What is going on. Why is the sea red? Why is the sky a burnt orange? _How the hell did I get here?_ What the purpose of this grey sand? Why do my thoughts have better vocabulary than my words? _What the...!?"

The sea trembled as a great beast shot out of the water. It flew into the air and jerked its position back toward the surface. In a flurry that barely a man's eyes could pick up, the monster thrashed back and forth in a spray of foam. The man then dropped his glass, landing safely, if a bit dirtily, in the sand. He jumped up and tripped over his chair as he ran away from the shore.

-"What was that?!"

The ocean water managed to splash on the man's face.

"_That doesn't taste like salt water... it tastes like iron... hmmm... it tastes like blood. Poor sea creature, his blood flew all the way over here... _Wait_."_

He then walked over to the shore, monster now gone. He cupped in his hands the water, and tasted it.

"_Tastes like iron. _It's blood! The entire ocean's blood! Where the hell am I?! Hell?"

He then stumbled down on his knees, overcome. He fainted and landed into the blood. It gave him quite the shock when he awoke, ankle deep in blood. He looked at his reflection in the Blood and saw a skeleton looking back at him. Promptly standing up, he trudged back to his overturned beach chair and blue drink. He then saw an airplane far over head in the great orange sky. Waving his hands frantically, he tried to get its attention. But he knew it was futile. Quitting, he decided to get some rest. He moved his chair far away from the blood, near the white and jagged sea grass. He then slept the deepest sleep he had ever slept. Little did he know, that this was to be his last sleep he ever had. He would never be the same. A marvelously brutally wicked experience.

He dreamed the strangest dreams he ever had. He had some level of lucidity in his dream. Upon waking, he found himself in a cold sweat. But he wasn't awake, and he knew it.

"_Whoa, what did I eat?"_

The moon and the sun were both half exposed on the horizon with shadows going in every which way and direction. Toward the sun, the ocean was its normal deep blue with its beautiful light blue sky and warm tan sand. However, towards the moon, there was the strange depraved environment of his waking. Where the two hemispheres of existence met there was a earthy brown that dominated the center. As one could imagine, it was quite disorienting. He was as thirsty as he had ever been and he simply needed to get toward the sun and away from this inverted world, he ran and ran by the never got any closer. He didn't tire, but his thirst grew and grew. Then he tripped over his beach chair and fell with a thump in the sand. His shin was badly bruised. He noticed the bluish drink and gulped it down, but it failed to empty. Instead, he ran while drinking the bottomless beverage, not thinking for a moment about the fact that he was running on the ocean. He ran and ran but he sun actually got farther beneath the horizon. He sped up desperately but it was useless. Suddenly the sound of helicopter blades was heard. And the Moon and the sun and the blood and the water and both skies and all of everything melted all together and away until there was nothing not even darkness. He was now under the sea in a scuba suit and mask, again alone. He realized the reddish tinge of the water and swam. He swam toward the surface, but it kept changing directions. Up was left, then right, then down, here, there, under that, through this, around it, no over that over there... Overwhelmed, to say the least, he was trying to swim toward the light of the sun, but it was all for naught, and he knew. He then remembered something, something from his old life "_yes, I had a normal life. It was back where things made sense. Things usually make sense, right? Right. I think. No, they do!_" He had taken scuba lessons; he studied which direction his bubbles from his mask went. The bubbles did not comply. Unfortunately, they simply popped. A small fish formed out of each popping bubble, which was subsequently eaten by larger bubble born fish. The feeding fish grew. Eventually one house sized fish grew into existence. It was bright crimson with a blackened underbelly, razor black teeth, and one giant eye. He saw his reflection in it and saw himself, not bound up in scuba but naked and floating lifeless with a bloated bluish complexion. The fish then swallowed him whole. The inside of the fish was not the inside of a fish at all; he instead was falling from high in the air, rushing past the clouds. But the ground wasn't visible. He just kept falling. Still, he could not even see the ground, just the sky above him, the wind rushing past him. He was filled with a deadly terror. He saw the same airplane that he had seen before fly right below him. It left as quickly as it arrived, this time with a sonic boom that pounded on his chest with such force that it threatened to free his organs from his body. The boom reverberated right through his skull. He then stopped falling; he was now laying comfortably on a cloud. He cared not how he did for this was a dream and those kinds of discontinuities don't bother you. Yes, the cloud. He was laying on the cloud,. No. He was not just laying there in bliss, but he was eating its puffy contents .

"Finally!"

, he shouted. The cloud became thinner and thinner as he ate more and more. Until finally, he fell through the cloud and landed, only a few inches down, on beach sand. The sand that he landed on then shifted and heaved. He swore that he heard the sand say something. Near? Here? He didn't know. Nor would he soon, if he did ever find out. What, you expect me to know? Hey, maybe I'm not that omniscient kind of narrator guy, huh? Just 'cause I don't know that one thing. Or, maybe i'm just messing with you. The Gods of old sure had a lot of fun, and why cant I? I'm essentially the God here, so there! You're just gonna have to keep reading! Hah!

"Oh, hi Ryuk, how are you", I, the Narrator said, gazing upon his demonic figure. "Not Bad, Not Bad" responded Ryuk, enjoying his Golden Delicious. And all was right with the world.

The End

_(of the chapter)_


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